What I’m inspired to write about this week, which by the way, my older kids will not be surprised by, is my youngest child, Sid. The sweet little baby we didn’t know we needed. And when I say “we” I mean our entire family.

Sid came into our lives when I convinced my partner that we should apply to become foster parents. I had always wanted to be a foster parent, since I was in my early 20’s and before I was even a parent myself. Working as a nurse at the hospital, sometimes caring for sick and neglected babies, I could see the need for it but more importantly I felt in my heart it was something I needed to do.

Way back then I began the application process but not long after and newly married, I became pregnant myself. My husband at the time and I lived in a small two bedroom apartment and both worked shift work and so life just got in the way and it never happened. Over the years and even once I was divorced and on my own I entertained the idea of fostering but it just never came to fruition. I shelved the idea in my head for the future. 

Then, years later, life took me down one of those paths that leads someplace brilliant and one of my parttime jobs (I worked in a Covid swabbing clinic) was coming to an end and I needed to make some decisions about what I would do to make up for that. I was discussing with my boss at the time and I mentioned becoming a foster parent. I told her I felt like this might be the red carpet rolled out before me, to start the application process. And that’s just what I (we) did.

I kind of left my spouse with no way to argue the decision and he got on board with it and we completed the application process which included lots of paperwork, criminal record checks and a social worker coming into our home to interview us and inspect the house.

I had specifically requested to have babies and not older children for several reasons. One of which was that I didn’t feel equipped, mentally or otherwise to deal with the issues that come with teenagers. My older three kids had all gone through (my youngest currently going through) the teen years and it’s not easy. I’d always been a baby person, since I was a kid myself and loved looking after babies. I didn’t find it challenging ever really, a baby’s a baby. Little problems. Plus I’d heard that there was a greater need for foster parents to take babies so I was good with that.

I was prepared for middle of the night feedings, crying babies, changing diapers and everything that goes along with it. I turned our spare room into a nursery. Purchased a bassinet, an infant carseat, stroller, clothes, bibs etc and I waited. A couple of months went by and then finally the social worker texted and said she had an eighteen month old who needed a home, I said I’ll gladly take him!

I was super excited for the day that he was to be dropped off and so was my teenage daughter who actually skipped school that afternoon as she insisted she be here as well. How could I say no? This was so so exciting! When he arrived and they handed him to me he was pretty upset, crying his little head off. When I look back now, it makes me so sad for a moment, to think about what this poor little baby must’ve been feeling. Being placed in the arms of a stranger (me) and left in a strange home. It was his naptime right then I was told, so after they left I got him a bottle and sat in my swing chair and held him, fed him and rocked him. He fell asleep in my arms and I fell in love with him. Just like that. 

The first week, when I look back, is a bit of a blur and a huge learning curve for both of us. But there were few tears, he settled in really well and the only thing that upset him the first few days was our golden retriever Remi. I don’t think he’d ever been around dogs before but thankfully Remi has the personality of an 86 yr old gramma and within a week, Sid was laying on or sitting on Remi and they were best buds. 

Because I’d foolishly expected a little teeny baby but we were instead blessed with a “big” baby I had to get rid of the bassinet and replace with a crib and get rid of the infant carseat because he needed the bigger toddler one etc. Had I known he’d only spend maybe the first 4 weeks actually using the crib and then would become a fixture in between Clint and I in our bed, I probably wouldn’t have bothered lol. (He’s still that fixture in our bed).

The fun began pretty much instantly with this new chapter in our lives. The clothes that had been sent with him were ugly, tattered, stained, not the right sizes and appeared to have belonged to a girl. We threw everything out and I shopped for a whole new wardrobe for him. It was so fun purchasing all these baby items again! The little plastic handled cutlery, little teeny rubber boots, baby lotion for after baths etc. 

He quickly became a part of our lives and our family. The baby we didn’t know we needed. My spouse and I had never parented together as we met later in life (me in my late 30’s, he in early 40’s) both post divorce and with no desire to have a baby together. I fell in love immediately with this little human who called me “momma” and I always say I couldn’t love him more if I’d carried him in my stomach for 36 months and given birth to him four times over. He’s mine, heart and soul. 

For my spouse it took a bit longer to become attached as we didn’t know from the start how long this little sweet angel boy would be in our lives. But as the months went by, a father-son bond was formed and now is rock solid. Clint calls him “my boy”. It’s the most heartwarming thing I’ve ever seen, their relationship. Every single day, even through the terrible twos and now in the terrible threes, we marvel at this little boy we are parents to. We count ourselves so very lucky and I think I can speak for both of us when I say the love for him has taken on a fierceness we’ve never known before. 

Of the five kids we had when we met, four of them now are adults and out on their own, we are actually already grandparents and so looking down this road of responsibility “starting over” with Sid is sometimes daunting. Doing all the things all over again. Halloween costumes and parties, birthday parties, kids activities, parent teacher meetings etc. Santa’s back in the house at Christmas, the Elf on the Shelf is unfortunately back in the house, the Easter Bunny is back, the Tooth Fairy will be back at some point. But we’re up for the task and we’re doing it together, which is something we didn’t get to do before. Clint’s a really great parenting partner and we do make a good team. 

We don’t take this responsibility lightly and we are aware that he had parents before us, his birth parents and also siblings and we will make sure we are open with him about this and have already started organizing visits with some of his siblings. He also comes from a different culture than either of us do and so we’re trying already to incorporate that into his life too so that he’s aware of that, aware of where he comes from.

He’s the absolute best thing that’s ever happened to us.