My older daughter Bella said this to me the other day, how she feels awkward sometimes when she bumps into someone she knows, say at the grocery store. And so began this conversation, her and I about what the expectations are.
Do you just say hi and keep walking? Is it enough that you’ve acknowledged and smiled at someone? Do you need to stop and actually have a conversation? How in depth of a conversation does it need to be, is small talk about the weather acceptable?
Then she said she is terrible at making small talk, to which I replied well you got that from me. I have also noticed that about myself. After moving on from discussing the weather outside, I really don’t know where to go next. And I told her don’t worry about it, you’re either good at making small talk or you’re not. Is that a true statement? I’m not actually sure but sometimes as a parent you just say whatever will reassure your child. I went on to explain my theory and cited her brother as another example. He could make small talk with a complete stranger til the cows come home.
But she and I, if we aren’t discussing something important or concrete, we’re in very murky waters. I like talking about politics, if I’m comfortable with the other person in the conversation. I enjoy discussing books or music and food. I am not versed in discussing anything abstract, I need to talk about concrete, tangible things.
And definitely not small talk.

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