Daily writing prompt

What traditions have you not kept that your parents had?

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I do feel that traditions are important however I am not my parents and have lived a very different life and parent very differently than they did/do. Food and gathering around the table for a big meal with family is important but it does look different than the way my parents did it.

Growing up, my family and three of my aunts/uncles and their kids all lived within a one mile radius of each other, with my grandparents in the middle. So each time a big holiday came up we would gather at my Gramma’s house to eat and visit.

I would beg my parents to go early instead of being the last ones to show up and then beg them to stay longer instead of being the first ones to leave. What I didn’t know then, was the animosity that lay underneath some of the relationships, and with just cause, in our family.

Looking back, I’m not sure why we even went but I suppose my parents took us to keep my grandparents happy and to avoid causing any major ripples in the water. The whole family, if I remember right, mostly kept our heads in the sand about the issues with my one aunt and uncle and to this day I’m not sure how much it’s talked about by those who were directly affected. It’s not my story to tell however.

These days when Easter, Thanksgiving or Christmas is approaching I make a big meal and make a big deal out of it but it’s just myself, my partner and our kids (whoever can make it), at the table. Sometimes I feel it would be nice to gather with my parents and sisters and their families but we just live too far away from everyone.

I grew up going to church every Sunday but I don’t take my kids to church. I don’t mind the church, I think my beliefs align with the Lutheran faith but I don’t make an effort to attend church. Nor do I feel bad for it. We don’t say grace before a meal like we do in my parents house. I used to say prayers at bedtime with my kids when they were small and they still can recite them, it’s cute. I myself sometimes say a prayer at night in bed, silently and there have been rare times on a Sunday morning if it’s just me at home when I’ll come across a Lutheran televised service and put it on. But that’s about it.

It’s not that I feel like being a rebel or anything but I’m me and getting up on a Sunday to go to church does not feel like me. I do have strong opinions about some religions and the hypocritical people who attend them but it’s not something I advertise or debate in public.

The traditions around food, holidays and church are the only ones I can think of from my childhood. I guess there were little things, but again, centering around food, like pecking hard boiled eggs with each other at Easter, to see who could crack whose egg first. When we were small, every Friday our Dad would bring us each a chocolate bar. After a turkey dinner Dad would dry the wishbone and two of us would pull on an end to see who “won” by breaking off the bigger piece.

I still do some of those small silly things with my kids, with the exception of the Friday night chocolate bar, they have them more frequently than that most likely.