This prompt is a bit sappy for me. Getting teared up depends entirely on what time of the month it is for me. If I’m pms’ing, god only knows what might bring on the tears. Or a tear. The rest of the month I’m more stoic.
One thing that stands out right now, as in today, is my oldest daughter Bella-Lena. We came to Winnipeg this weekend to get her a car, do some shopping but also essentially move her down here for University. It does leave me feeling sad.
She was telling me yesterday how one of her close friends cried so hard when they said goodbye on Thursday night. I said well I hope I don’t cry on Monday when we leave. In her usual sarcastic tone she said “Mom you don’t cry, as if.” She knows me pretty well but I do actually cry sometimes. It’s just not very often.
But honestly the thought of going back to Thompson and leaving her here does sadden me. She is 23 though, not just fresh out of high school and it’s not her first time moving away. Although it is the first time I’ve felt this sad about being separated from her.
We’ve gotten very close in the last 2 years since she returned to Thompson and I am going to miss her immensely. I’m getting teared up right now just thinking about not having her around.
Anyway that’s a good thing because the other times she moved away, she was still living in that teenage brain phase of her life and we did not get along. Our relationship back then would not have been described as close.
In fact I think I recall being relieved that she was leaving, not so much because I wanted her away from me, but because she was just treading water and very unhappy in her life. I did think that leaving Thompson those times might just be the medicine she needed.
It turned out not to be and actually the opposite was true. It was when she returned to Thompson that she finally found herself and unpeeled those layers that had weighted her down so heavily. She hung out Friday evening here in Winnipeg with an ex-boyfriend who she has remained friends with. She said that he told her she seems like a completely different person. She replied to him, well yeah thank F*ck.
She was telling him about her summer and being at the beach with friends and he said but you hate the sun. She said oh yeah I forgot I used to avoid the sun and heat. I asked her if she told him that not only did she lay in the sun on the beach, she did so in a bikini! Which is something that just would not have happened three years ago. I know it sounds trivial, but trust me, as a Mom it’s a huge huge win.
Anyway, I’m so happy for her, for where she is now in her life and in her brain. She’s not just treading water anymore, she’s swimming. She’s going places. And I know this sadness when kids go off to school is completely normal and we will all adjust and be okay. I told her home is always there if she changes her mind.
Great, thanks WP for bringing out a couple tears at 6 am. Geez.
bloom.planted.north 
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