List the people you admire and look to for advice…

Just as I sit down to write this, I see a lady walking by who I’ve seen most mornings for a couple of years now I think. It’s not even eight am and she’s out for her exercise and is looking determined. She’s literally half the size she was the first time I saw her walk past the house.

I don’t know her, don’t know her name, but I admire her. She walks in all kinds of weather and through the snow all winter.

As far as advice goes, I tend to ask the people who will tell me what I want to hear. They say to find people in your life with strength in the area you’re seeking advice on, and ask them.

If you need advice about money or investing, ask a friend who’s doing well in those areas and is money smart. Don’t ask the friend who lives in a tent by the river.

Or if you need advice about relationships, check with the friend who’s been in a stable and HAPPY relationship for an ongoing period of time. Not the one who changes spouses like they change their underwear, or is an infidel.

I’m not that smart. If I am needing advice on something I want to buy, I’ll ask my friend Ang who’ll say YOLO, go for it, you deserve it!

When I was nineteen-ish I met a guy at a social (that’s Manitoban for “a dance”) one Saturday night. We had a lot of fun. He was from out of town. He asked for my number. He called me the next day. We went out for supper. I loved everything about him.

We went for a drive and eventually hours later he admitted to me he was actually married. I said take me home. Period.

But he kept calling me, apologizing. Sent me flowers. Said he wanted a chance to explain everything.

I was obviously very young and naive. I didn’t want to see myself as a homewrecker. Yet I wanted to hear what he had to say. So I asked my older sister what to do. I knew what she’d say and that’s why I asked her.

So we met out in public, for a drink, the way two friends might. Nothing really out of the ordinary or sneaky about it.

Anyway nothing more came of it. He told me the sob story that, at that time, was something completely new and had me feeling sorry for him. I now know, after having heard that exact same sob story from married men a half a dozen times over the years, that it’s just that, a story.

Stuck in a relationship, don’t even share a bed, doesn’t want to leave because of the young kids, the business, she’d take half of everything and financially ruin him.