Really the only external fear I’ve ever had is mice. I’m not scared of heights or spiders or snakes. Or balloons. I had a friend once who was afraid to be near a balloon.
So it’s just mice and I will never not be afraid of them.
They are awful and creepy and crawly and they carry diseases that will kill you.
An internal fear I carried in the earlier part of my life was not being liked by everyone. I couldn’t imagine be disliked by someone. Seemed like the end of the world.
Not.
Pleasing.
Everyone.
The horror.
But now, I’m older and wiser (somewhat). IDGAF. I really don’t. Like look at me, I just said the f word, sort of. So badass.
I am not for everyone. We are not for everyone. You’d be fake if you were. Took me a long time to realize that.
I don’t want to know what other people say about me, I don’t care. It’s none of my business.
I care less about rocking the boat yet I am careful about what I say to whom. Only because I think being mature means holding back a bit. Certain things don’t need to be said.
My parents are in their mid-70’s and so I find myself watching what I share with them, only because I don’t think they need to know things that would upset them. But 10 years ago I would’ve held nothing back. I’m kind of known for tell it like it is, which I come by honestly because my Dad is the same. But I’m getting wiser with it.
I can actually bite my tongue nowadays. It’s an art. All you people who always knew how to bite your tongues, well, you’re much more advanced than I’ll ever be.
bloom.planted.north 
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