Oh I love this prompt! Romance sucks.

It usually replaces some other piece of a person, within a relationship, that is missing but actually super duper important. At least in my personal experience. You show me ten so called romantic men and I’ll show you ten women who are unsatisfied with those partners, going, okay yeah he says this or does this but what about this, this, this and this?

Okay so maybe I’ve had crap luck when it came to romantic partners in my life and that’s why I’m so jaded. I was never looking for it though. If someone tried to be romantic, I might laugh and have a hard time taking it seriously or think I’m possibly being pranked.

The only examples I’ve endured of romance came from the emotionally abusive relationship I was in for two years when I was just eighteen, with a much older man. Flowers, poems, gifts, dinners, movies. When he wasn’t calling me names, accusing me of cheating on him, slamming doors and throwing things. Okay wait, this is probably much of my skewed attitude towards romantic gestures.

But also, I have a very dear friend, who shall remain nameless, who can also help prove my point. Her boyfriend of more than two years is full of little romantic gestures. Texts her heart emojis all day long, saying he misses her and his life is incomplete without her and blah blah blah. Lays it on thick. Yet in about thirty different areas of their relationship, he’s absent. He’s very much uninvolved and quite selfish.

So what good is romance? It’s nothing but pomp and ceremony.

My partner is the furthest thing from romantic. He didn’t grow up around romance, yet his parents have been happily married (as happy as one can be, married, hehe) for fifty years. They’re not romantic towards each other, at all. But they are real. Solid.

My partner buys the obligatory Valentine’s Day flowers and Mother’s Day flowers. That’s his two stops a year to buy flowers. Do I care? No.

This is what’s romantic to me. In the winter, he makes sure my car is plugged in. For you southerners, we have block heaters to keep engines warm in winter and they have to be plugged in. If you don’t plug it in, the engine pretty much freezes, and your car won’t start without a boost.

Also, he understands my need for silence in the morning, if we happen to get up at the same time which isn’t very often. I cannot speak first thing. Like literally my mouth won’t move until one cup of coffee. Also, I just don’t want to talk. I need time to wake up. I don’t care for “good morning” small talk. He gets this and respects it and is no longer offended by it, haha.

He always makes sure the coffee is on. Hot and strong. Just like I like it. And sometimes, my morning mug (I use the same mug every single morning) has been placed right there on the stove, waiting to be filled up and enjoyed. Now that’s romance.