Let’s pretend that I want to re-live the night that I met my ex-husband, and NOT meet him, but still have the three kids I did and they would be exactly who they are today, but with a different father.
I would pick a re-do to correct a mistake and change the course of my life rather than a re-do to re-live some wonderful thing, one more time. I’ve always been happily unsatisfied and I honestly can’t think of one thing I’d want to re-live that was so amazing I’d want to do it again. Of course becoming a Mom four times doesn’t count.
So that night in ’98 when I was in college and getting ready to go out with my friend Bridgette, I wouldn’t have the conversation with her about the conversation I’d had with my Dad. He had been teasing me and said, “wow you’ve been away at College for over a month and no new boyfriend yet?”, in a joking and mocking me kind of way.
When I told Bridgette about my Dad saying this, I went on to say that I better have a boyfriend by Christmas just to shut my Dad up. Not that he actually cared or wanted me to have a boyfriend, it was all teasing but I decided I was going to show him.
This was November so I had to get my butt in gear and Bridgette decided we should both find boyfriends by Christmas.
Lucky for her, I was a natural born matchmaker. I told her she was in good hands, just leave it to me.
Unfortunately the guy I tried to set her up with, ended up with me.
So back to the re-living part, at the bar that night, I would have stayed downstairs, not ventured up to the second level of Houston’s. He and his friends were upstairs where the pool tables were. If I had stayed on the main floor and just had some drinks and danced, I wouldn’t have met him.
Not meeting him would have meant many, many guys all throughout college and not settling down a month into college. It would have meant not wasting money on a wedding a year and a half later.
Re-living the night I met him would not only save me money, it would save me so much disappointment and early on in the marriage, a broken heart.
If I would have just slowed down and actually been very picky when it came to meeting a life partner, I might have known the love that someone as cold hearted as me, speculates even exists.
I wouldn’t have ended up living way, way up north in this Boreal forest wonderland. Ugghh but I love all these trees. I wouldn’t have the job I do, but geez I really love my job. I love the maximalist second-hand store decor in my cozy house.
I’m a firm believer that if you never experience trying times, you will be boring and vanilla AF. So without all the stress and all the worry of marrying the wrong person and the aftermath that comes with that realization, I might have been a tad less interesting. Not that I think I am interesting but let’s say MORE boring than I am today.
Nobody wants that.
bloom.planted.north 
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