I think the jury’s still out on this one. Of course, (hopefully) you get smarter as you get older but I made some foolish decisions when I was young.
At the age of eighteen I spent two years with a man who emotionally ravaged me. He was twelve years my senior. He lied about everything under the sun and I believed him. He flew into rages over the smallest things and I thought I needed to be loyal and put up with it. His jealousy had me backed into a corner where all I could do was plead with him to relent.
All I took from this was years of nightmares and “what’s love got to do with it” playing over and over in my head. I learned that actions speak louder than words and love doesn’t mean anything. It’s not the thing that should come out on top.
Having someone be honest, open and trusting with you was way above love in the hierarchy. Yet I tripped again. I married someone who had none of the awful characteristics of psycho man, just other huge red flags that I ignored because they paled in comparison.
On the flip side, sometimes I’m way too judgmental and I put people into boxes with big old labels on them, where it might not even be fair.
Case in point, I know a couple of ladies, former coworkers, who have had and continue to have, a LOT of plastic surgery, botox, fillers and things like that. These ladies are nice to me. They’re probably nice to the world. But I just have a hard time relating to someone who’s had surgery on butts, guts and boobs to make them perfect looking. As well, their lips, lashes, hair, is all fake.
I shouldn’t judge them for it, who am I to talk? My nails are fake, I dye my hair so technically the colour is fake. And it’s not like I’m judging them for living their life that way, it’s not like that. I think people should be allowed to do whatever the hell they want to do. But I just would never let someone like that into my circle. I wouldn’t even give them a chance. That’s not nice or fair.
It seems this all adds up to, no, I am not a good judge of character. It’s hard to find the middle ground. I’m either not judgey enough or way too judgmental.
bloom.planted.north 
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