Around 2010 when my three older kids were small, life was very busy. I worked full-time and the kids were in school/daycare and after work/school/daycare we took them to all of their activities. Then it was supper and dishes and helping the kids with their home reading or homework. I could never fully relax until they were in bed for the night.
Once they were, I’d sit on my chaise with a cup of tea and watch The Office. That was my me time and then, always, a bath before bed.
Nowadays my life is easier, my job less demanding and the days less busy. I still have a bath each night before I crawl into bed. I rarely miss it and even if I’m on holidays and staying in a hotel, I’ll have that bath. A friend joked once that I’m the only person she knows who actually uses hotel room bathtubs as opposed to showering.
I’m feeling unmotivated and disenchanted with life in general lately and I don’t know why. I waited until the very last second to put up the Easter decorations, my Easter dinner was lackluster.
I keep saying I need to start some seeds on my living room windowsill for flowers and veggies but just haven’t done it. Everything seems like it’s too much work lately.
Is it this never-ending winter? The snow that won’t go away and the cool, barely melting temps?
Is it hormones? Am I creeping ever so slowly to the top of that hill on the rollercoaster with the impending drop now within sight?
It just feels like something is missing. I can’t put my finger on what. I thought maybe if I wrote about it, I could work it out somehow.

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