I’m going to go with the “collections of embarrassing moments” theme on this one, as I don’t collect any tangible items anyway.
I know everyone thinks that their embarrassing moments trump anybody else’s but mine truly are the worst. I’ll give you the top three in order from least embarrassing to most, you’ll want to read number 3.
- It’s a tie between being in Grade 7-ish and having a wicked crush on an older boy who was in high school and worked in a bank, I went up to his teller and awkwardly asked him “can I check this cash?” instead of cash this check AND approaching the tent in which, again, an older guy slept inside of and trying to knock, but how do you knock on a tent, to which he asked who’s there and little nerdy 14 year old me replied “it’s me”. Like as if he’s supposed to know who “me” is.
- Was working on the Acute Psych unit and on my lunch break ran uptown to Walmart. As I got into my car, I sat down awkwardly and more like slid down the back of the seat, into the seat. I felt the buttons on the back pockets of my nylony pants create some friction with the back of the seat as I slid down. When I got to Walmart I walked across the parking lot with all the confidence I usually carry (which is unknowingly probably too much sometimes), out of the corner of my eye I saw a group of young kids laughing and smirking but I paid no attention. While I was shopping a woman approached me and graciously let me know that I had a rip clean down the middle of one butt cheek, that left said butt cheek completely exposed, as I was wearing thong underwear. Ugghh.
- Okay this is the absolute worst and thus far only Rob from thingsihavethoughtof knows this doozy of a story. It’s kind of long so I’ll tell the quick version. I went to a Superbowl party. I was under the weather. Possibly slightly hungover. This was years ago. I had a strong coffee and two donuts as soon as I got there. I immediately needed to use the washroom. And so I did. But as I turned around to flush, in horror, I realized the flusher lever was very loose. It wasn’t even a working toilet. They were doing bathroom renos and neglected to tell guests as soon as they arrived, to use the washroom downstairs. They were putting in new flooring and had moved the toilet off of where it sat over the plumbing, to do so. I basically used a toilet in a Home Depot kinda thing. I had to go out to the kitchen then and confess to the host of the party and a good friend of mine. She literally fell on the floor laughing and the toilet had to be carried outside and…well…cleaned out. The worst. I am the worst.
bloom.planted.north 
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