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More important things

Daily writing prompt
In what ways does hard work make you feel fulfilled?

I don’t like this question.

My Dad is of the boomer generation and not only that, a farmer. So I was raised to believe that hard work was the end-all, be-all of life. Work hard. Don’t rest, unless you’re nearly dead. Work work work. Days off are for wimps, sick days are for even bigger wimps. Push through. Don’t sit around. Don’t do something unless you’re going to do it right.

I took all this with me as I entered the workforce. Even with three young kids, working fulltime doing shift work. I didn’t call in sick, like ever, to a fault.

Of course if one of the kids were sick I’d stay home and take care of them but not myself, not if I could help it.

When Bella-Lena and Taz were very small their daycare person was on vacation for a week so I had to find alternate arrangements, which was a difficult task.

Now, looking back, I think why didn’t I just talk to my boss and explain the predicament I was in, no childcare. Or why didn’t I just call in sick, at least for a couple of days.

But no, that wasn’t something I would do, I worked hard and didn’t miss work. So I sent them to a different daycare that week, a lady I didn’t even know. I was just happy to have found someone to watch them.

She baby-sat them all week and at the end of the week they were more than happy to never have to go back to her house. They said she sat in a recliner chair while they played downstairs and she did a lot of yelling at all the kids there. I so regret that.

When my marriage was ending and I was going through one of the worst and most stressful times of my life, I still went to work everyday. I shouldn’t have. But I did. Because, well, working hard no matter what, is just what you do. I recall being sick a lot during that time, colds and flus. Due to all the stress my immune system was worn right down. Yet I didn’t rest. And in fact I had to pick up a lot of overtime to pay the bills as I was now a one income household, me, and I was going to provide the kids with anything and everything they needed or wanted.

Now that I’m older and wiser I no longer live by these rules. I worry about me and my family more than my employer. As an employee I am and was, replaceable. I was too stupid to realize it when I was young. Kids always come first, before jobs and especially before the work hard and only wimpy people miss work attitudes.

I really don’t care if people view me as a hard worker or committed to my work. There are more important things in life.

Bella-Lena, 2009 I believe

33 responses to “More important things”

  1. i 100% agree. coincidentally, the year that beautiful photo of Bella-Lena was taken, I was still recovering financially from going bankrupt. were corporations helping me with kind gestures and money to ease my stress? absolutely not. and that’s why i have no problem telling them to eat wet sand when I can. Mike

    Liked by 1 person

    1. If only we are born knowing these things hey Mike? I guess, at least we did wisen up…some people never do.

      Liked by 3 people

  2. Raising younguns is hard enough work on its own let alone do both. It’s best that they come first yet we do need money to live on so it can be hard…

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    1. A tightrope walk most definitely!

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  3. Metropolitan Archbishop Earl L. Frazier, DD Avatar
    Metropolitan Archbishop Earl L. Frazier, DD

    I too, was raised on a farm in the 1950s, and watched and learned about whether the crops would come in and provide enough money to feed and clothe 2 growing children, buy new shoes for the start of the school year, and watched my mother sewing clothes for her 2 children, cook meals, with the help of her mother, who joined our family when I, the first-born child, was born in 1952, and put on women’s work clothes and go out and helped with the farming.
    It was a hard life and I decided before graduating high school, to go to university and earn my Bachelor in Business Administration.
    I never looked back, visited the farm and my parents every weekend, and joined the US Air Force for my career.
    The lessons I learned watching and learning in the 1950s, helped me to become something better than becoming a farmer.
    The one lesson I took away from all this was that hard work was necessary to advance and succeed both in life and work. But I never became obsessed with hard work, but got satisfaction in seeing the results of my hard work, done in moderation.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Very interesting, thanks for sharing!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Precious photo of Bella-Lena. 🌸 I can relate to never missing work. My last few years in the classroom I learned to take a “just because” day once a semester. What a difference that made! My dad had a strong work ethic too and he also enjoyed skipping out on a random weekday and going to the lake when we were kids. A good balance and special memories for me, when I was able to join him.

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    1. Yeah I was actually thinking about the lake thing as I wrote this, when the crops were in their growing or ripening stage and other work was all caught up, we’d pack up a picnic and head up to the lake…but this happened only once or twice a summer!

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      1. Sounds nice. 😊 Both my parents were raised on farms but left (Iowa & Arkansas) when they were teenagers. They met in the Wild West.

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  5. Imagine if you had a Gen X parent, your work ethic would still be there just not as harsh 🤣

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    1. Yeppers!

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    2. Actually my kids can attest to that lol

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      1. You’re Gen X but had a boomer parent ?

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      2. I think lol…

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      3. Sorry just unusual to hear that. Most people I know had older parents..i suppose there could be exceptions

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      4. My parents were born ‘48 and ‘49…I was born in ‘76, is that Boomer and Gen X?

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      5. Yup. 🤣 sorry..for doubting you. My parents were born 1936 & 1941..

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Hey no worries I sometimes have to google these things cause I can’t keep track lol

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  6. Love this post. I’m similar in that I always go to work and never call sick. It’s always good to remember we are just a number and easily replaced.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes!! Take the sick day!!! (Thank goodness my dad will never read this lol 😂)

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      1. Haha love that. If I’m sick I definitely will thanks. I guess I’ve been fortunate too not to have been sick before 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

        Liked by 1 person

  7. CJ, great post and wonderful photo. My grandparents had a farm… no rest, 24/7/365. Even when we went up at Xmas, there were still chores and us GKs got pressed into service. Companies today are all about the bottom line, people are expendable. Glad you found a balance 😎

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  8. very beautifull picture 👌

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you!

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  9. Lovely black & white photo!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes it’s one of my faves!

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  10. I completely agree with you. I think the idea of “working hard” has been abused by many. To me, working hard means focusing on the job at hand while you’re at work. If you’re supposed to be there Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m., then you focus on that. It should not mean skipping breaks or lunch, avoiding sick days, or never taking vacations. Working extra hours just to please a boss is wrong. If you’re doing it because you really need the extra money, that’s a different story. But working too much will affect your health and won’t accomplish much in the long run, since family relationships suffer and all sorts of problems arise.

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    1. Yep if only I’d realized this sooner 😬

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      1. Well, you are not alone. It happened to me early in my career, and then I started to change, especially after I had people working for me. I tried to protect their free and family time as much as I could, but in the military, that is hard sometimes.

        Liked by 1 person

  11. I grew up old school so I worked like crazy, too. While good for my career, bad for everything else.

    The problem with growing up on a farm, the “hard work bar” is set too high.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m really happy these new generations see right through it.

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  12. In my opinion, Millennials take life/work balance to the extreme. They will not put in that extra time at work for any reason.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Completely different frame of mind hey?

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