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Too close for comfort

Daily writing prompt
What makes a good neighbor?

I think it depends on where you are in your life, as far as what constitutes good neighbours. My answer today is probably very different than it would have been twenty years ago.

Twenty years ago a young family moved into the house across the street from us, (us being myself, my kids and my ex-husband). At that time I had just a daughter and a son. This family also had a daughter and a son, almost the exact same ages as my kids.

I took over something I had baked, I can’t remember what and she returned my plate with chocolate chip cookies. The kind where the dough is already made and kept in the refrigerator I’m sure of it.

Anyway we all became fast friends. Neighbourly friends but friends just the same. The kids ran back and forth between our house and theirs. We got babysitters and socialized on weekends together.

Her kids became like my own kids and I know she thought the same of mine. It was bliss.

I had a third child and two years later she had a third child. Those two third children became fast friends as well, despite the age difference. Cordelia loved having someone littler than her to boss around and entertain her.

In 2009 we were invited with friends to the Dominican Republic and we invited these neighbours to come along. There was a large group of us and overall we had a great time.

Eventually my marriage ended as did theirs. The kids are all still good friends, for the most part which I love to see. But as for the four of us parents, we all drifted apart.

I believe she slept with my ex after I moved out and her ex was very angry about it. I couldn’t care less. He still lives in the house across the street from where my ex husband lives but now they don’t even look at each other much less say hi or get together for a beer.

I will still say hi and stop to chat with him (the former neighbour) if I see him and I would her too but she moved to another province.

Nowadays I’m not interested in getting to know neighbours beyond hi over the fence or from the driveway. Maybe I’m once bitten twice shy? Or just way less sociable. It’s probably that.

My parents (Dad holding my niece Adria) and Bella-Lena in a playpen, must be 2002-ish

14 responses to “Too close for comfort”

  1. There was a time and a place where community worked great for you, sad about the tragic end. Maybe the stars will align one day.

    Most of my neighbours stick to their own heritage communities or don’t speak English, so the neighbourly thing isn’t there, but I’m good friends with the old lady next to me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It was nice to have it when I did and I wouldn’t change a thing.
      One old lady friend is sometimes all you need!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Like your title suggests, I find that being in close proximity to people turns me off on the whole neighborly stuff. but living where I am now where everyone is spread out, we all act nicer to one another. I wonder if that’s a coincidence. Mike

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    1. I’m sure there’s something to it Mike. A bit of space is never a bad thing.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. “Friends for a reason, friends for a season, or friends for a lifetime”…I think they all matter.
    Sounds like you had a good run with those folks, and nice that the kids are still friends

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are absolutely right Mary!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. How to complicate things! I’m glad you’re out of the drama, CJ.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Me too!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I had a similar experience in college. My ex and I had a couple groups of “couple friends”. Nothing quite to the extent of your situation, but it was one of those things where everybody became too close, too fast. It was all very intense and the fallout was overly dramatic.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah it’s interesting how that was then and this is now and I have no friends, and especially couple friends, to the same extent.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s very weird how ribs happens to us as we get older. I’m social: i interact with people, I date people, but in really can’t say that have many “friends”

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      2. Yep I’m the same, somedays I miss being more social and others I don’t.

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  6. I think part of the problem is that we are too busy. I see people going to or coming from work and mowing the lawn once a week, but that’s it. I talk to one of my neighbors on a regular basis because he’s always working on his car outside, which gives us an opportunity to chat for a few minutes. Other than that, I’m like you, just saying hi from a distance.

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    1. So true!

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