When do you feel the most drained? (Prompt courtesy https://thecoffeemonsterzco.com/en-ca/blogs/midnight-blogging/journaling-prompts)
Nothing like a good old cry to suck the life and the energy right out of you. Or is that just me? Crying absolutely exhausts me. Thankfully I rarely cry. Maybe once every couple of years?!
I do get tears in my eyes at times, especially when hormones are steering the ship and more so as I inch closer to the big 5-0. But not a full on blabbering, snorting, whimpering and sobbing cry.
Yesterday my daughter Cordelia did bring me to tears when she was going through some old keepsakes at her dad’s house and sent me this photo:
The picture was taken I would say in 2008, judging by the size of Cordelia. My parents were visiting from Swan River. My ex-husband is in the photo, looking normal and somewhat likable.
I remember this moment so well. I really felt like I had it all.
Eating out on the deck was a big deal to me, I made sure we did every chance we got. We always ate together like a family and so I’d haul the highchair out each time we ate outside.
We were happy in this moment, I believe. I loved having my parents here to visit, it was always a fun time.
I realize that I’m just as happy now, or happier, yet knowing that all the happiness in this picture was completely wiped off the map when we divorced, it’s just, well, sad.
After I moved out I never thought about or missed this house once. I remember a good friend’s husband saying to me c’mon Carla, as if you don’t miss your old house. I honestly didn’t. Still don’t.
But when I saw this photo, I missed this day.
bloom.planted.north 
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