Something was off with me this morning and I wasn’t sure what it was. I was having trouble focusing and concentrating, I even cleaned my glasses thinking maybe they’re super streaky as compared to their regular state of somewhat streaky.
It was like that feeling when you’re on a long road trip and you need to go to the bathroom, like yesterday, and around every curve you hope for a gas station or a bush but it’s just not happening. Like time has been suspended and nothing is real.
So I chalked it up to the fact that I’d shorted myself on caffeine this morning and I made myself a strong cup of beautiful coffee. Third cup of the morning.
I’m not sure it helped but somewhere in there I realized two other things were going on. It’s Blue Monday AND I’m wearing a girdle. Which is new for me.
Okay like don’t picture “girdle” from 1943, it’s actually a pair of butt lifting, stomach flattening pair of spandex shorts that I finally broke down and ordered from Spanx.
When my daughter saw me getting them on, and trust me it’s a chore, she rolled her eyes and turned up her nose the way these lovely teenage girls do. I said what? It’s my girdle. She said what’s a girdle?
Oh my god.
Anyway, I didn’t buy them so much for the lifting/sucking in part so much as the it just feels proper to have something under a dress or skirt type of thing.
I’ve had buttons come undone on dresses in places you don’t want buttons coming undone so at least this way I’m covered, literally.
It’s now nearly 10 am, I’ve had these suckers on for a couple of hours and I guess my body is getting used to the tightness or the fact that it’s Blue Monday but either way, I finally feel like my head is clearing.
bloom.planted.north 
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