What’s your number one advice for relationships? Or friendships?
I think that I suck at relationships so I’m not going to speak to that other than to say, don’t lose yourself, change yourself or shrink yourself.
As for friendships, sometimes they can be challenging as well.
Bella-Lena and I each have a friend with a similar issue. They can’t seem to stay away from a certain crap relationship, no matter how poorly the guy treats them, if there are moments of sunshine and roses in between, they keep coming back for more.
It’s frustrating and stressful to see someone you love settling for a strip steak when they could be having a t-bone or ribeye (my fave is t-bone).
Not only that, for me anyway, it’s super time consuming to be on the other end of the phone texting all day long when she’s mad at him and swears she’s had enough and is done.
It’s the same old story every time. I feel like, to be a supportive friend, I have to be responsive when she’s in crisis like that and hate on him along with her. Let her know I have her back. But honestly, it’s exhausting.
And I used to think that if we both hated on him enough and I kept highlighting his awful behaviour, she’d actually end the relationship. But she never did. In fact, they took things a step further and now live together.
After three years of that I decided okay, I need to be supportive in a different way. She’s obviously never going to leave him. So now when they fight and she’s mad, I support her but instead of saying yes, you deserve better, dump his ass, I say you deserve better, why don’t you talk to him about it. And she says as if, but it’s whatever I guess.
Anyway, Bella-Lena gets very frustrated and angry with her friend who is in this same pattern with a guy and I see now that there’s no point in getting so angry about the situation. People are going to choose who they choose, sometimes it’s not the best situation but you have to be supportive regardless.
bloom.planted.north 
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