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Must we?

January 26th has come and gone but apparently it was National Spouse’s Day. Gag me with a spoon.

But I do love thinking about relationships. Why people stay. Why people pretend to be in a healthy relationship. I’m not really sure why we are so enamoured with finding and being in a relationship. Why do we think THAT’S the key to happiness? Why do people feel that they NEED a partner?

I suppose I’m as guilty of it as anyone else.

When I was newly single after my 13 year marriage ended, the father of Bella-Lena’s bff started stalking me. He sent me flowers anonymously. Dropped off jewelry to my workplace. More flowers. Followed me absolutely everywhere I went.

He was married and the day I had the police serve him with a restraining order, his wife called me. She wanted to know what the story was. Why had I gotten a restraining order? So I told her bits and pieces of the story. The conversation with her made me very uncomfortable.

She asked me why I hadn’t gotten in contact with her and told her what was happening. I really didn’t know what to say. Like sorry Brenda, but it’s an awkward conversation to call you up and say hey, your husband is buying me things and follows me everywhere.

I don’t know that they really stayed together, but he had a massive stroke a couple of years later and she stayed by his side throughout his rehab and in his death.

She still posts “in memoriam” types of lovey dovey things on FB when it’s the anniversary of his death or their anniversary or his birthday.

I don’t understand. But maybe because I’ve never lived it.

Our childhood horse Beaver, I’m far right, my younger sister far left, older sister in back

18 responses to “Must we?”

  1. That’s a fucked up situation you were in. I bet Beaver would’ve had a few “nay’s” to that creeps behavior.
    Personaly the “national food” days are the best. I am particular fond of national bagels day.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. She sure would’ve lol
      National food days make the most sense πŸ˜‹

      Liked by 1 person

  2. hats off to her for being so caring and loyal – it’s a shame she put her energy into that man. but you handled it the best you could CJ. Mike

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You say hats off but i say stupid lol, like why would anyone put up with that?!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone in my age cohort or even slightly older who has stayed with their spouse after any type of infidelity so to hear that she did…and took care of him….that’s crazy, and yes…also stupid. I hate to see it tbh

        Liked by 1 person

  3. The spouse thing goes through phases, but when the kids are all grown and gone, I think it’s better not to be alone, assuming your partner is a decent person. Being alone is hard on people. I see that more clearly now than I am 60.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Not that I’m excusing his behavior, which was not decent at all!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Yeah i see what you’re saying but this guy was not a decent person 😬

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Having a conversation with her must have been incredibly awkward… I can’t imagine the conversation she had with her husband.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Right?!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Sorry you went through that strange and terrifying ordeal. πŸ˜”

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Michele, all in the past β˜€οΈ

      Liked by 2 people

  6. How creepy. I’m not sure I would have talked to the wife first either when it’s not certain how she may have reacted and they both could have made things worse for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly, i just wanted it to end!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Of course!

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Well, I started with a laugh after reading “Gag me with a spoon,” which immediately turned into sadness after reading what happened to you, something that is both sad and infuriating. I’ve witnessed that too many times, so it drives me crazy knowing how some men are capable of such childish behavior.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes it’s ridiculous to have to put up with that kind of behaviour from a grown person!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, it hit a nerve, for sure.

        Liked by 1 person

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