What made you happy this month?
Today marks the start of my now twelve year relationship with Clint. We sometimes refer to it as our “anniversary”, although we don’t celebrate it and never have. He gets off the hook pretty easy that way, there’s no planning involved, no gifts exchanged, no special dinner. No flowers.
As most of you know, I’m fascinated by long-term relationships. The kind that span decades. I think about it a lot. And two days ago when I was getting out of the car in our driveway with a bouquet of flowers that I bought for myself, I wondered for a second if he was watching from his chair next to the living room window.
I wondered for a second if, when he sees me coming home with flowers for myself, does he ever think, damn, I should have bought her flowers. I’m not pitying myself. Not at all. I just wonder. (He does buy me flowers usually once a year on Mother’s Day).
That thought led to thinking about how he and I are both good at making ourselves happy. We don’t expect the other to do that for us. What I want for myself, I buy or do. What he needs to be happy, he does for himself.
Maybe (for some people), that’s the key? Or is it messed up?
The friend with the endless cycle of fights with her boyfriend was complaining again the other day about how sad and disappointed she had been with the thoughtless gift he gave her for her birthday.
I stopped being that person more than twenty years ago, when I was still married to my now ex-husband. I refuse to be disappointed by thoughtless men, so I started buying or even just picking out my own gifts. That’s how Clint and I do my birthday and Christmas gifts, (unfortunately they are four days apart which makes it extra hard).
Anyway, back to the making yourself happy thing, I’d really love to know if others think it’s sort of messed up, or are we onto to something?
bloom.planted.north 
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