Tell me where you’re from without telling me where you’re from.
The snowsuits, ski pants, toques, mitts, neckwarmers are never really put away, they’re just deeper into the coat hooks at the doorway. On top of them is where the “summer jackets” are hung.
We’re known for being polite and will give a “sorry about that” over nearly anything.
Sometimes when the geese are headed north, looking for a cool spot to spend the summer, they stop here (we are that cool spot) and don’t leave until fall.
We have a huge sign just out of town on the side of the highway that reads “Winter Survival Gear Recommended”.
We mostly feel bad for the US, we could never hate you. We just feel like you are that cousin who has the really rude, thoughtless, ego-tripping step-dad who makes life unbearable. And we can’t imagine.


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