What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to forgive?
One of the most difficult things I’ve had to get over, in my adult life, was losing my best friend to my divorce. It’s not that I need to forgive it, as there really was no wrongdoing on the part of either of us.
It’s just that it is complicated I suppose, life can be complicated. Not for me but for her. Loyalty got in the road, feeling like she had to take a side, plus keep her spouse happy.
Funny how my marriage ending never made me cry but losing my best friend because of it, did.
Nowadays, if I have to see her or talk to her, it’s super awkward. Like running into that ex-boyfriend where things ended badly and words were left unsaid, yet you feel no ill will towards them.
So you try and make little jokes, ask them about themselves, talk about the weather.
The last time I saw her, she was here briefly to pick something up from Cordelia, for her daughter and out of complete awkwardness, I asked her for recipe advice on something I was cooking that day.
We used to spend hours talking about food we cooked or wanted to cook for our families, sharing recipes back and forth, over several cups of coffee and a slice or two of banana bread.
I guess I’m still not completely over it. When I talk about it and someone reminds me ‘people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime’, I want to roll my eyes as far back into my head as is possible. That doesn’t help.
She was my person.
bloom.planted.north 
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