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Slinking away

Daily writing prompt
What is something you wish you could tell your 20-year-old self?

Twenty year old me had just come out of a two year relationship with a thirty-two year old, who had damaged me emotionally and I would say, pretty severely.

Once free from his clutches, I began really living life like a young person should. There was nobody to control my every move and so I did whatever I wanted.

With no worries over his jealous rages, unfounded accusations and violent behaviour, I was free to talk to absolutely anyone. I dated, I went out. My social calendar was full.

What I had wished I’d done differently was when I finally broke up with him, I should have been braver. I should have told him off. I should have told him what an absolute piece of shit he was and how he had no business treating people the way he did.

Instead I slinked away, my tail between my legs, ashamed for some reason. In all fairness I guess I was afraid of him. He stalked me for nearly six months, and I had to get the police involved to get the point across that I wanted nothing to do with him.

But if I could go back in time, I would have been more brave. Stood my ground. He couldn’t hurt me anymore.

He wouldn’t want to meet me in a dark alley now!

32 responses to “Slinking away”

  1. Likely everyone within a 100-mile radius would know what an *sshole he was, if that happened now. 🙂 I’m so sorry, CJ. It sure sounds like he deserved that and more.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Also you really made a great transition to blonde!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank youuuuuu 😌☺️

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Yeppers, he took out an ad in our local newspaper when he was stalking me, a 5×7 ad proclaiming his love for me…if that happened now I’d retaliate with a 5×7 ad stating what a piece of shit he is lol

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      1. Yikes and yuk. Ugh.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Unreal 😡

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  2. You were actually brave for leaving … that takes courage and strength to do especially with that much age difference. I’m glad you were able to enjoy life despite going through all that… 🫂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes you’re right, thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. It sucks how many GenX women were victims of actual CRIMES (harassment, stalking) and we blame ourselves for not fighting back. Our parents and communities should’ve been protecting us from this bullshit and those guys should’ve been legally charged.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Even now they aren’t held to account. 😦

      Liked by 2 people

    2. So true Mary!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. looking great Ceej, and moreso, i’m glad you came out of that with flying colors!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Mike ☺️

      Liked by 1 person

  5. You are not built to fight this on your own, that’s why protection from your community is there, the police. We are a gregarious animal, this is our modern version.

    I heard a saying, it goes something like… If someone is acting like sh*t, don’t step on it and ruin your shoes. Just walk around. I.e. don’t lower yourself to their level and become like them, you will become tainted with them.

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    1. I feel like if it happened to the “now” me, i’d take some kind of revenge lol

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Since he damaged you pretty severely before, I bet he has not having a good life. The conscience or if ever he has. 🤭You’re okay now and I hope he changed for the better. Hugs, CJ.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Hazel ☺️

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  7. Christin Feist Avatar
    Christin Feist

    I’m so happy that you got out of that situation and have loved a happy life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, me too!! Even though it was hell, it showed me how easily someone can get trapped in a relationship like that and now allows me a way better empathetic view.

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  8. That 20-year-old version of you survived something really heavy, and still found her way back into freedom, life, and joy that alone says a lot about your strength. Bravery doesn’t only look like confrontation; sometimes it’s simply getting out, staying out, and rebuilding yourself afterward. And you did that.

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    1. Thank you 🙏🏽

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  9. i’m glad you were able to get out alive… and i hope karma gets him and gives him what he deserves

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Me too! I’m sure I wasn’t the only victim either, probably many girls suffered because of him!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Damnnnn that’s brutal!

        Liked by 1 person

  10. so much the better for you

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  11. Me, too, CJ. We’d have written a different story.

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    1. 😌 thanks Mary

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  12. I am sorry you had to go through that, but I think it’s absolutely amazing you were brave enough to get away from him.
    I will also say that as much as we want to go off on someone sometimes or wish we would have in the past – sometimes – our silence is louder, they feel that more and words left unsaid can sometimes be the best thing for us! 💕

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    1. Yes Shel you could be right! I’m just more of a sayer than an un-sayer lol

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